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THE ARS MESS
By Seth E. Lipner
What if they held an
auction, and nobody came?
Would the interest paid still be the same?
What if the market ran totally dry
And suddenly there was an over-supply?
If UBS stopped bidding that bond
Do you think that their customers would still be so fond?
Suppose that you bought a safe student loan
And now you can’t sell it - would that make you moan?
Would you think that your broker is some kind of wierdo
If he told you the interest on your Notes now was zero?
What if your cash all of a sudden went bad?
I bet that would that make you angry, or sad.
This stuff goes by the letters “A”, “R” and “S”
The wizards of Wall Street have again made a mess
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© Seth E. Lipner 2008
Bad Week On Wall
Street
by Seth E.
Lipner
So Lehman Brothers is
no more
But they had almost failed before
First Kuhn expired, then Hutton died too
But Lehman, till now, had always pulled through
Long Term Capital made the top execs frown
But Lehman lived on – though its stock was way down
Through markets that were both turbulent and churnin’
Lehman rose up; they bought Neuberger Berman
But the mortgages, the swaps, and the money they lent
Caused it all to go south, and away Lehman went
Merrill was sold, and Wamu was too
But not for that much, because of the billions they blew
They all took huge salaries, but seemed not to care
That the risks being taken were too much to bear
So how can we trust them with our money and wealth
Just thinking about it is bad for your health
Now many will suffer because of this blight
As Lehman and Merrill disappear from our sight
© Seth E. Lipner, 2008
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2007: The Year in Review
SICA ran a suryey,
And arbitration was low-rated.
FINRA gave a*Report Card"
But the grades seem, well, inflated.
Solin did a study
And arbitration got
berated
Then Congress held a hearing
And the subject was debated.
A new Code was enacted
Long, and un-redacted
Then the NYSE expired,
And Karen Kupersmith retired.
Filings were much lower
And business got much slower
But the mortgage market fell
In fact it went to hell
So with new cases on the plate
I'm hopeful about '08
Oh No. I Own a CMO
by Prof. Seth E. Lipner
I looked this month in my account
I like to check, to see the amount
But down was my portfolio
Because of a loss in a CMO!
Can it really be a CMO?
*REMIC" is what it says
below
It also says it is an IIO
But what that means I just don't know
Oh no, I own a CMO.
The losses just grow and grow
They say its rated triple A
But the prices drop now every day
I asked the broker what it was
But his answer was just full of fuzz
Good income was the justification
It was supposed to
provide diversification
I heard the lenders went to town,
And now the stuff has gone way down
The bankers all did have a ball,
"No doc loans" for one and all
Some are sub-prime, others Alt-A,
Lots of wealth has gone away
Defaults are up, the markets down
My hard earned green
has turned to brown
So what the hell are these CMOs?
And why are they next to all those zeros
I just got over the big tech wreck
And again my account has gone to heck
So does the bottom line in yow
account
This month show a lower amount?
Perhaps you also own a CMO
Or Auction Rate Note, or CDO
I heard they fired Stan
O'Neil
But he for sure won't miss a meal
For my retirement, well, I just don't know
Because I own this CMO |
